Things I’ve Learned :)

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You can’t do this on Your Own – When I was sinking in the cost of losing my son, God rained down His mercies drowning me in a new hope unseen by material eyes. We put so much into what we have here and what we think is ours, but God gave us everything! God is not some mean guy up in the sky wanting to see us suffer by ripping our lives apart. He is a merciful God who keeps our most precious treasures safe in a place never to be compromised again by earth’s sicknesses or poverties of the soul, and though they are just out of eye sight He allows us an ability to feel them always with our hearts. I think memories are a gift from God and though I can still have moments of tears when I think about Daniel those tears have become abundant drops of gratefulness running down my cheeks! – (Psalm 91:14)

The only meeting you need is His – The anguish doesn’t stop moving ahead and wait for you to reconcile with the cost of love, but God does! He holds your passion to go forward for you because God cannot waver; in me is His deepest affection. He waited for me to meet within and let Love move me. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in this world. (1 John 4:4)

There is Beauty in Broken Things – Though I was crawling amongst the ruins scorched by the devouring darkness and pain that was beyond anything I could handle God protected my life through His redeeming support. At times He sent support through a Friend, song on the radio or word in my heart. Into my weakened structure a new programme was being powerfully uploaded in a burnt-out damaged me and in Him I was becoming someone more beautiful. When you allow God to lead you in the darkness, He takes you in the right direction. Only God’s can lift a brokenness so charred by death and judgements to reshape every single hollow in our breastplate to reflect more of His beauty and grace, for what seemed weakened beyond repair in battle is now being wonderfully redesigned by Him. Who I am was not over for He is continually unveiling a more beautiful me, even to me! (Isiah 61:30)

In the Smallest Whisper of Hope, Good Rises – I now have an intense desire to serve others. My life has a much richer and thoughtful determination than to just live for me. Just as Daniel was born for an incredible purpose, I have learned we all are! If your heart is still beating you got some remarkable significance inside of you. My soul now contains a compassion for others that frees me from sinking in complete self-absorption. In my soul there is a renewed assignment that restarts my heart with immeasurable joy! (Genesis 50:20)

Suffering Reroutes your Incredible Purpose. – This path I’m now on, I wouldn’t change it! He knows the pain of my weary heart and not one tear is wasted. I’m no longer troubled about this world I’m enduring because I have my heart set on what is to come! (Ezekiel 36:26)

There is a Peace that Not Even Death Can Shake – I’ve learned that lasting peace comes from God. A place I never thought I’d be when I lost my child, a place of complete peace. Even in the pain there is beautiful gracious never-ending peace. God is for me and I experience that beauty every single day! The same power that bankrupt the power of this worlds troubles keeps me in perfect sync to His calling. I sometimes picture His Nail Printed Hands holding every single piece of my broken heart together. In every broken thought, missed celebration and coming holidays without my Daniel, Jesus holds for me an extraordinary reunion so amazing only Heaven could have scheduled it! Love lasts! (Philippians 4:7)

My blessings are Not Over – With each new day there is an opportunity to love others more. When I look at my Daughter I know my blessings increase with each day given! (Romans 8:39)

About the Author:

I am a women and mother who finds my serenity in the Grace of God. In my life there is no greater purpose then to Love a child. There is no higher calling then to Love one another. I have found my immovability in His Never-ending Love for me. I have found Him Faithful even to the depths of the grave.


  1. Ian  January 20, 2016

    Hey Mama T
    I was thinking this morning about the scripture verse, “Jesus wept.” Whenever I think about that verse I can’t help but think of your loss and knowing beyond a doubt God feels your loss and suffering so much, because His love for you is perfect, that when Jesus walked as a man, his incredible love for others made Him feel their pain so perfectly that He burst into tears when they mourned the loss of their brother. God is love, which means God is empathy and He is there at the very mention of His name.
    I have a question for you, and please excuse my thick headedness, but could you expound on your second paragraph, I am having much trouble comprehending it. It seems profound and I’d like to understand more, if I may intrude. If this is too much intrusion then please do not feel any obligation to respond.
    “Suffering Reroutes your Incredible Purpose. – This path I’m now on, I wouldn’t change it!” Wow! What an incredible thing to say. I can only hope I’d remain a true Christian and confess the same if I’d have suffered the loss you have. I am thankful I do not know the pain of losing a child or grandchild and will never presume to know how much you have suffered, and I hope to never find out.

    May God richly bless you sister.

    • Momma T  January 20, 2016

      Hey, thanks for asking!

      I believe each one of us has an Incredible Purpose because God didn’t just throw us together but has a detailed purpose in mind for us. We are created with precise intention and chosen for His glory In Isaiah 43:7 it say “everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” I now choose to be called for His glory!

      My suffering got me real in a way I don’t think going to church every Sunday was going to. I remember the exact moment the anguish was too much and I called out to Him in desperation for relief and He came to me in my car. I had never experienced God like that before in all my determination to be a Christian this was the first time I actually touched the hem of his garment! In that instant there was Love. A love so immeasurably wonderful I can’t even explain the joy that floods you. The despair was immediately gone! In that instant with Him, experiencing His Love, being with Him my suffering was redirected into Hope.

      I have a peace that changed the life I had been living and that changed my purpose into an incredible one for His Glory!

      I have a new path. It is such a joy for me to reach out through His Love to others and say God really does love you. It’s different this time, now I’m caring about others not because I have to but because I want to. I want to share His Love because He means so much to me. I want my life to be a megaphone full of His Hope!

      Even though I know it took great suffering for me to meet with God, this new path I’m on I wouldn’t change it!

      Momma T

      • Ian  January 20, 2016

        Wow! That is wonderful. I hope and pray you will be able to share that with the friend you mentioned in a previous blog entry. Would be great if your friend could meet our Lord the way you have.


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